Echolalia

 Goooood morning southside Niagara! I’m DJ Saul Qual and today’s Tuesday, October 29th. We’re rocking a comfortable ten degrees today as the sun is shining down on our beautiful little region, and we have quite the lineup for you today in terms of fresh tracks, so stay tuned! On top of that we have a couple guests here that will be sure to make your skin crawl for Halloween this Thursday, so keep the dial set and stay spooky Niagara! Much love. 

“Goooood morning southside Niagara! Goooood morning southside Niagara! Goooood morning southside Niagara!”

“Okay sweetie, that’s enough.”

Jayda sighed. Her hands held onto the steering wheel much harder than she intended, but she found herself wearing thin. This was both a mental and physical exercise. She reminded herself that she loved her son and that the affliction he dealt with - that they all dealt with - was not of his choosing. There were days when Jayda felt terrible about feeling that way. She knew her son was on the spectrum, and she knew well enough that when he was diagnosed her life - their lives - would not be easy. Still, her aggression caused a good bit of guilt within her.

It wasn’t Raja’s choice to repeat words and phrases that he heard on a daily basis, like some kind of broken record on loop. Sometimes we don’t have control of the needle, and sometimes we have to deal with the music we’re given.

If only that music wasn’t so damn repetitive, said the voice inside of Jayda’s head. Again, her shame began to boil. What kind of mother was she to wish that her son was different? More normal? 

And there was the crux of her guilt. That’s what made her hands grip the steering wheel tighter. As Raja continued his chorus in the backseat, Jayda rubbed her temples. They hurt. And they had hurt since she and Gabe became pregnant almost ten years ago to the day. She remembered it vividly. A cool autumn day. Warm-coloured leaves dancing in the wind as she and Gabe - dressed as the eponymous Bonnie and Clyde - walked to Max’s Halloween bash. They were in college, and Max had a miniscule apartment that reeked of eggs. Always eggs. Of the salad variety, which was ten times worse in Jayda’s opinion.

And there they engaged in an unromantic, frivolous act of sexual pleasure. They weren’t virgins - both she and Gabe had been with previous partners before meeting in Intro to Renaissance Literature - but both were clumsy that night. They toyed around childishly until both of them reached orgasm. Unfortunately, that pleasure didn’t come from the oral sex. It came from full-on penetration. The horror came soon after realizing neither of them used protection.

And unlike Bonnie and Clyde, Jayda and Gabe partook in a sexual act that was all too successful that night.

The irony had not been lost on Jayda after all these years.

“Mom do I have t-t-to go to school today?”

“Yes Raja. Mommy and Daddy aren’t home to stay with you.”

“I’ll kill ‘em, I’ll kill ‘em, I'll kill 'em.”

“I’m sorry?”

“What about Grandma?”

What about Grandma? Jayda thought. Gabe’s mother, Julia, was always enveloped in their situation. Right from Raja’s inception, Julia was overbearing. Gabe was her precious son. Well-educated. Good career path ahead of him. Conservative values. All of these factors tainted the view she had of the woman who “corrupted her son.” These were her words, spoken to her son soon after the phone call she received about the pregnancy. The news ripped a fissure between the two of them before they had even met. So much to the point that her and Jayda seemed to disagree on just about every child-rearing routine to follow. 

Jayda tried her best to not let the disdain show, especially not in front of her son, because if she was being honest, Jayda appreciated the help Julia offered her and Gabe. It was the snide remarks she knew Julia said to Raja about her that she didn’t want her son to hear. So, in retaliation, she limited the amount of time Raja spent with her. 

But that was Jayda’s bias. And it wasn’t the lesson she wanted to teach Raja in that moment. Their life existed in one giant classroom since his diagnosis. Raja was on the spectrum, and dealt with an unusual affliction called echolalia. Professionals describe it as a repetitive restrictive behaviour whereby the person repeats words and phrases that they hear in everyday life. In terms of ability, Raja was still relatively high functioning. Jayda and Gabe were of the philosophy that Raja was just as capable as all of the other kids in his class. And sometimes that meant they would treat him as if he didn’t have an affliction at all.

So Jayda said, “Grandma’s busy today, and it’s a school day, sweetie. You have to go.”

“I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna. I don’t want to go.”

Jayda sighed. All around her, Halloween decorations whizzed by in the foreground, reminding her of that life-changing night ten years ago. Her foot pressed a little harder on the gas pedal in the hopes of getting to school sooner. 

Once there, she put the car in park and helped Raja with his bag. As he swung his backpack over his shoulders, Jayda noticed his chipped fingernails. A result of biting. Jayda knew that Raja picked up the disgusting habit from his father; however, where Gabe bit his fingernails in boredom, Raja always tore at his nails because he was anxious.

“Do I have to stay?”

Jayda was always intrigued by the way Raja’s mind worked. The way he formulated questions and saw the world around him. Even through something as simple as “do I have to stay?” that signaled some melancholic need to leave. To not be part of something. This she found both worrying and a little upsetting. To want to be alone was a sign of introversion and neglect, wasn’t it?

“Yes baby. Miss Pegg is here today to help Mr. Huber. So you’ll have Mr. Huber but you’ll also have Miss Pegg to talk to as well, okay? You like Miss Pegg don’t you?”

Raja nodded his head. His demeanor was jaded. Shy.

“Hi Raja!” The voice belonged to Miss Pegg, who waved Raja and Jayda towards the schoolyard. She was young, peppy, and her golden locks fell gently along the sunshine dress she was wearing. Its trim was slim and it was scattered with white leaves.

Jayda knew that Raja had a crush on Miss Pegg, and it wasn’t hard to see why. She was pretty, young, and she was determined. Jayda was grateful that the school board had sent her to Barton Elementary. The only issue was that the school board failed to produce the proper funding for regular educational assistant class time, so Miss Pegg’s attendance was limited to once a week. 

“How was your week Raja?” Miss Pegg asked with a smile.

Raja remained bashful.

Jayda placed a hand on his shoulder. “Raja, Miss Pegg asked you a question.”

Raja shrugged. Then, without meeting her gaze, he repeated: “Goooood morning southside Niagara! I’m DJ Saul Qual and today’s Tuesday, October 29th. We’re rocking a comfortable ten degrees today as the world is shining down on our beautiful little region, and we have quite the lineup for you today in terms of fresh tracks, so stay tuned! On top of that we have a couple guests here today that will be sure to make your skin crawl for Halloween this Thursday, so keep the dial set and stay spooky Niagara!”

Raja recited the entire segment without fail. Miss Pegg and Jayda shared a glance. A smile. Finally, Raja added for effect,

“Much love.”

Miss Pegg responded, “That’s fantastic Raja, thanks. It is a beautiful day today, isn’t it?”

Raja nodded.

“Because it's so nice out, 'a comfortable ten degrees' as you say, maybe at recess we can collect some leaves for Mr. Huber’s art class, how about that? I heard we’re going to be designing our own pumpkins today!” She smiled for good measure; Raja followed suit.

He always liked the way Miss Pegg spoke to him. It wasn't condescending like some people. It was inclusive. Helpful and understanding. 

Raja nodded. 

“Excellent.” Miss Pegg turned to Jayda. “I’ll take it from here.”

Jayda mouthed the words Thank you and bent down to kiss her son on the forehead. “Have a great day sweetie. I love you.”

“I love you,” Raja repeated.

Jayda watched Miss Pegg take her son into the building. She went to her car and headed for work. It wasn’t much longer to the bank she worked at as a teller. It wasn’t her first career choice, but it paid the bills. Ever since Raja, Jayda made it her priority to be the best mother she could be. Partly to prove to Julia that she could. Another part to satisfy the natural instinct she had to protect. That was the outcome of having a child, and sure, part of her always wanted to become an agent at a publishing house, but she was content with reading finished products as much a hobby than a career.

The bank was called BT Limited and had set up shop in Barton over thirty years prior. This was Jayda’s fifth year working for the bank, and she had learned the ins and outs in a very short amount of time. Because of this initiative, she was awarded head teller and saw a happy increase in her regular paychecks. The level of intensity for the job was fair for the amount of work she was expected to do, and Jayda reveled in the benefits full-time employees were given. In today’s day and age, benefits went a long way. As did an opportunity for a pension, which the bank naturally offered in tandem with their benefit programs.

There she toiled away for the past five years. Same routine day in and day out. What changed were the customers, but even then Jayda noticed trends. Some were wealthier than others. Most wore name brands as a distinction, but Jayda was shocked at how wealthy some customers actually were who chose to hide it in clothes that could only be described as second-hand. Jayda treated these customers as equally as the rest of them, mind you, but she still couldn’t help but feel a sense of irritation towards their attitude. 

Lunch came at eleven. Cartoon jack-o-lanterns hung festively over the breakroom table - the cutout of a cackling witch lingered in the corner of the room. Jayda tried her best to avoid these decorative reminders, and instead focused on a lunch break that was a tad too early for her liking. She got used to it fairly quickly, though, having worked up quite the appetite on her way to work this morning. Typically, Jayda used this time to scroll through her phone, either searching social media or reading an e-book, sometimes both if it was a particularly slow social media day. Today, lunch was interrupted by a phone call. The ringtone startled her as she scrolled through a friend’s profile, knocking her entirely out of her reverie. Caller ID informed her of the recipient - Barton Elementary.

“Hello?”

“Hi Jayda?” She recognized Miss Pegg’s voice almost immediately.

“Miss Pegg. What’s up?”

“Not too much. The reason I’m calling is because we’ve had an incident today with Raja. He’s fine, but we need you guys to come in at the end of the day to talk with Mr. Huber.”

A heavy sense of dread boiled within her stomach. Something felt wrong. 

Jayda took a moment to herself.

“Jayda?”

“Yeah...um, yeah. Yeah Gabe and I can come.”

“Great.”

“Judy,” Jayda said, gravely. “Is everything alright?”

Miss Pegg now took a moment for herself to respond. “We’ll talk when you get here.” And she hung up the phone. In its wake came an uncomfortable silence that Jayda couldn’t shake. She texted Gabe and waited for lunch to end. With this news, she was haunted by the time left in the day. Minutes went by like hours, and hours crept by like days. It was an excruciating wait for two o’clock, and once it hit, Jayda found herself rushing to the school where she met Gabe and headed for Mr. Huber’s class. 

“So she didn’t say anything else on the phone?” Gabe asked as they navigated to Mr. Huber’s class. 

“I told you what she told me.”

“And nothing else?”

“No. Nothing.” Jayda could feel herself becoming irritated. Gabe was as much a concerned father figure as his mother was a hound. He kept at it until his questions were satisfied even if his questions failed to make any sense.

“Did anything happen this morning with him?”

“Gabe, no. Nothing happened, okay?”

Jayda sped up the pace if only to get away from her husband sooner. They arrived at the classroom to find Mr. Huber, Miss Pegg and Raja sitting by the teacher’s desk.

“Mr. and Mrs. Dean, please take a seat.”

They did. Beside them sat Raja, head down. Miss Pegg stood beside the teacher.

“Thank you for coming in today,” Mr. Huber began. “You know Miss Pegg, our EA. We’ve just been talking with Raja about an incident we had today in class.” He turned his attention to him. “Raja,” he said, “do you want to tell your parents why we asked them here today?”

Raja was silent. He shook his head, slowly. 

“Raja what happened buddy?” Gabe said with a hand on his shoulder.

“You can tell us sweetie,” Jayda said. 

Raja’s leg was shaking. A sign of uncomfortable hysteria, as Jayda had come to think of it. The whirlpool of ideas that certainly swirled in his mind were coming to some kind of fruition.

“Go on Raja,” Miss Pegg finally said. “Tell them what you said to Madison.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Raja said.

“We know,” she said. “But we need you to say it, okay?”

Raja hesitated. Then, with perfect diction, he said, “Her flesh will fall with perfect precision and crawl beneath the fissures of hell.”

------

The car ride home was arduous. Jayda couldn’t take her eyes off of her son. He sat motionless in the backseat of the car as they drove home. Without Gabe the car was silent as it often was when she and Raja were alone. Most of the time Jayda had to force herself to communicate with her son.

“Where did you hear that phrase from, Raja?”

He said nothing.

“Raja?”

Silence.

“Raja?!” she said, raising her voice slightly.

“What?”

“Where did you hear that from?”

“I don’t know.”

This was false. Jayda knew especially well that Raja was exceptional in at least two things: recitation and remembrance.

“Don’t lie to me Raja. You know where you heard it from and I need you to tell me.”

Her son remained quiet. He wouldn’t budge, and Jayda wondered why. Miss Pegg said Raja had told her he heard those words at home. Her mind immediately swept to Julia. But as arrogant as she was Jayda couldn’t believe that the old lady was capable of that tone.

Another possibility was that Raja heard these words from a Halloween decoration: granted, none of the decorations Jayda allowed Gabe to buy were that grisly in nature. Sure, Raja could have heard it from someone else's set, but Jayda seriously doubted this was the case.

And then an insidious thought crept into her mind. Who was the assailant, because it certainly wasn’t her? She hadn’t even heard that phrase before in her life. So who was left?

Gabe. But he couldn’t have possibly said that to Raja. Maybe in front of Raja, but certainly not to him. That was it, then. Gabe was watching one of those disgusting grindhouse movies he liked to watch with body mutilation and gratuitous sex and Raja overheard the dialogue. Simple as that. She made it a point to remind Gabe to turn down the volume.

And yet there remained a nagging defiance in her mind that that wasn’t the truth. Why? Why was her mind telling her there was more to it than that? That Gabe had nothing to do with this and her mind was only reaching for straws.

They arrived home where a once familiar space was threatened by a potential rift in domesticity. Raja went inside and straight to his room. Jayda went to the kitchen. Gabe was already there waiting for her.

“Did he say anything to you?”

“Nothing.”

Gabe sighed. His agitation was readily visible. “We need to talk to him.”

“And say what?”

“We need to know where he heard that phrase from.”

“I know where he heard that phrase from,” Jayda said. “He heard it from one of your stupid horror movies.”

Gabe shook his head. “It wasn’t from one of my movies.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I would have remembered the line.”

“You forget the milk in your cereal.”

“It’s not the movies, Jayda.”

“You don’t know for sure,” she said, her voice shaking.

Gabe stared directly at his wife. “Neither do you.”

Both parents were hesitant in their behaviour. Their insecurities hung like an echo between them. A voice from the past. A voice like their son's. It was a lifestyle they had gotten used to since having Raja. Oftentimes this lead to uncomfortable silences between them. This was a particular incident that inspired an uncommonly long drought.

“We need to talk to him,” Gabe said again.

“Yeah.”

They both pushed past their reluctance to speak by dragging themselves up the stairs. Night came fast this time of year and the hallway was drenched in darkness. They entered Raja’s room and found him sitting knees up against the headboard. His head was nestled in his crossed arms looking off into the corner.

All the lights were on. Even the nightlight that sat decoratively beside his bed after all these years. Raja's head was tilted towards the corner of his room, fear etched upon his face.

Jayda and Gabe sat next to their son. A sigh signaled their hesitant demeanor.

“Buddy, we know you’re upset,” Gabe began. “But we want you to know we’re not going to punish you for this, okay?”

Jayda placed a hand on her son’s. “You know what you said was inappropriate, right sweetie?”

Raja nodded his head.

“Your father and I just want to know where you heard that phrase from.”

Raja nestled tighter into his closed off space. “I don’t want to say.”

“Why not son?” Gabe ventured.

Raja’s eyes darted to the corner of the room. What lurked there remained temporarily banished in the light. He was afraid of what it was going to say next, and like a voice from the grave he echoed the following statement,

"I'll kill 'em, I'll kill 'em, I'll kill 'em."

Cory Maddalena

Enjoyed ECHOLALIA? Be sure to check out the first

two horror stories that preceded it!

MIDNIGHT AT THE MAUSOLEUM

THE DROP