My Thoughts on Thirteen Reasons Why

Right from the start of all of this, I'm aware that this isn't going to be the typical content Creative Corner, but this is something that I realized is very important to me and I would like to share it with everyone/anyone who is willing to read it.  Note, there will be some minor spoilers, but I will try to keep them at a minimum.

For those of you who have Netflix, there is a show that debut in 2017 called Thirteen Reasons Why.  It is an adaptation of a 2007 novel of the same name, dealing with the suicide and fallout of a high school student.  In the novel, the victim, Hannah Baker, kills herself after experiencing a year of hell.  Before she takes her life, she records thirteen tapes, explaining who is responsible for her hardships.  The show takes the plot further, going further than the novel, finishing off the main character's high school career.

This show is not easy to watch, and if you are triggered by certain topics, I might advise against watching it.  It handles serious topics in a very harsh, realistic light.  These topics include:

• Mental health (anxiety, depression, PTSD)
• Suicide
• Sexual assault and rape
• Institutionalized racism
• Sexuality
• Substance abuse
• Death
• Many more topics that I'm sure I have forgotten to mention

Now I want to say that I do not support the criticism of the show.  These are important topics and subjects that need to be talked about and shown, especially for the reasons of starting important conversations.  Those who have read this blog and who know me in person know that I suffer from depression, a little anxiety, and recently, PTSD.  I have always been open about my experiences with these, because they are a part of me and shouldn't be hidden.  They by no means define me, but I do live with them each and every day.

Another thing that should be clear is that high school shows are not my usual preferred content.  Normally I find them annoying and immature (Riverdale) but this show is different.  The actors give it their all, and the cinematography is a lot better than it should be.  The dialogue can be a little cringey at times, but overall it is great.

But to the reason I am writing this.  This show connected with me in a very strong way, and at the worst moments of my life.  To fully understand, I will be going back to 2017, and going through the toughest things I have ever experienced.

On March 16th, 2017 I got sick.  At first it  felt like a really awful flu, but it soon got much worse.  I was throwing up black, my right side stopped working and my whole body lost sensation.  I spent a week in the ICU where I found out I had a Fusobacterium infection.  I had abscesses on my lungs, liver and spleen, and the infection got into my blood.  In the next three months I had many tubes in me, and I was on a combo of pills and IV to get rid of the infection.  During this time I felt weaker than any time in my life.  I had to learn to walk after that due to the partial paralysis and general weakness.

On March 31st, 2017, Thirteen Reasons Why premiered.  This show took the focus off of what I was dealing with, and helped me come to terms with my mental illness.  In fact, the shock of my hospital stay and this show gave me the strength to stop taking my anti-depression medication.  Sure, things are a little harder without them, but I have been feeling great since.  I was watching the show with my girlfriend, and it was something that we looked forward to whenever we were together.  It helped me feel normal when I wasn't.

Season 2 premiered on May 18th, 2018.  This is the only season what doesn't apply to the general theme here.  I wasn't sick or hurt at this time, and in fact I was planning my wedding with my fiance.  Things were good in 2018, and I'm wondering if that is why I think it is the weakest season.  It deals with the aftermath of Hannah's suicide and all the trauma that prompted her to take her own life.  It was a lot of court scenes and some back story that contradicted the first season.  Like I said, the weakest season to me, even though it has some important character development.

July 11th, 2019 I broke my femur, the largest, toughest bone in the human body.  A 1300 lbs pillar fell on me and snapped it like a twig.  I had a rod put in the next day so the bone would heal and I could walk, but with crutches.  Because of this injury, my wife and I had to cancel our one year anniversary trip to Italy.  I hate that I made that happen.  It has been a long road to recovery, and I can say I'm about 85%-90% better now.

Season 3 came out August 23rd, 2019.  This season dealt with the death of one of Hannah's abusers, and figuring out why he died, and who killed him.  This season was extremely compelling and I think has the most character development out of all of the seasons.  Just like in 2017, this season kept me guessing and ultimately I was distracted from the constant pain I was in.

This last season just came out within the last week, June 5th, 2020.  It was the final season of the series, and deals largely with the limits of the human mind, and the core group covering up everything they have done.  The emotion bleeds through here, putting meaning in every single scene, and it shows pretty accurate depictions of panic attacks and G.A.D.

2020 has not been a bad year for me personally, but I'm pretty sure everyone reading this can guess why 2020 has been a shitty year.  The human race is imploding onto each other, and we are living in constant fear and uncertainty.

Thirteen Reasons Why has helped me through the worst and toughest parts of my life.  It isn't a perfect show, but it is a real show that shows real issues.  It was an emotional roller coaster for sure; whether it was directly in the show or the moments around the show.  It was a crutch, a life line that really pulled me out of the water when I felt like I was drowning.

I'm not saying that this show will have the same effect on others as it did on me.  What I am saying is that whether it is a show, a movie, a book or whatever, we need to recognize and appreciate the things in our lives that help us in the darkest moments.

Please, if anyone is going through anything that they mention in the show, please reach out to someone.  Friend, family, professionals, and if you really don't have anyone, me.  You are not alone and you should not be ashamed.  We are all in this together.

I hope anyone who reads this is taking care of themselves, now and in the future.

- Cody S